Woman’s Best Friend

*Monday was infusion day which means today is day three post chemo, typically my worst day. I remember watching ‘Step Mom’ years ago, you might remember it –  Julia Roberts, Susan Sarandon, and Ed Harris starring in this Hollywood dramady featuring Isabell (Julia) as the soon to be step mother, Jackie (Susan) as the bitter ex and Luke (Ed) caught in the middle. I remember liking this film. I thought it had a great story line, the acting was excellent and a redemptive if sad ending. What has stuck with me are the scenes of Jackie reeling from her chemotherapy treatments. Sleeping on the bathroom floor to be close to the toilet, barely able to get out of bed. Every one is different and even though I’ve never had to sleep on the bathroom floor, I have had my moments.

On day three I feel tired, a bit nauseous, and somewhat sad. Over the past year I’ve tried to find ways to mitigate the day three slump. Today, I had acupuncture and exercise helps tremendously so Tess and I walk. She’s my willing walking partner any time of day for however long I want to go. Sometimes it’s just necessary to let myself slide down the slippery slope and I’ll stay in my pj’s listening to sad songs, writing, remembering, planning…just feeling. I set a limit on those days, telling myself I can come back when I need to feel more. There is healing in feeling.

Mostly, on day three I need stories with happy endings. And a trusty dog.