I just took a 45 minute bath. Not just in any tub, but a tub who’s end I can just barely touch but only if I stretch with pointed toes. It was wonderful. This is MY bathtub, and I am grateful. I can take another bath tomorrow if I want.
As the warmth seeped into my body I began reflecting on Thanksgiving with cancer.
Am I thankful that I was diagnosed with cancer – not just any cancer but one that’s damn scary?
No, I am not thankful that I have cancer. I am however grateful for the eye-opening awarenesses that are presenting themselves. One looks at life differently when faced with the possibility that this could all end, for real, like soon, not just ‘someday’. I am thankful that I can still cook and enjoy food. Now when I buy groceries, for which I am grateful for, I look for the expiration dates. Let’s take lettuce as an example. I have been known to reach for the package at the very back of the display which can irritate those waiting to quickly grab their salad to go. I want to make sure that I pick a package that has the most amount of time left before it turns to green slime. I do this because I’m not sure if I’ll want salad every night for 3 days in a row and I want more TIME just in case. And even then, how long will that particular package of lettuce be good beyond the expiration date? Maybe I can squeeze out a few extra days, who knows? So much for my cancer/lettuce metaphor.
That being said, we all have an expiration date. I wasn’t looking for mine. This is good and bad in the gratefulness department. I think I’ll keep going back to the store for more lettuce, there seems to be an endless supply.
I am grateful that the weather is changing and I can light a fire…in the middle of the day…and just sit and watch.
I am grateful for my family and friends, my medical team, my healing team, my support team, my family and friends (yes, I know I said that twice).
This might be TMI but after the first round of chemo, I am grateful for regular bowl movements once again…too soon? One must find humor when it comes to living with cancer.
I am grateful to, and thankful for, all of you that are reading this page. You are my peeps and my heart sings and cries because you are sharing this journey with me.
I am grateful for the LOVE that I connect with every single day.
And finally, I am grateful that we will be going to Fruita to share Thanksgiving with my extended family. I am sure that the food will be outstanding, the conversation lively and the hugs more meaningful. Someone knew what they were doing when scheduling chemo #2 AFTER Thanksgiving.
May you and yours have a blessed Thanksgiving. Let us not forget that even though the times are trying and full of mystery and uncertainty, we have so much to be thankful for.